3 things I'm letting go this year

3 things I’m letting go this year

January 6, 2024
Assalamualaikum!

Every year, we’re always talking about new goals to start, new habits to build, etc. etc.

New and more isn’t always the answer. More often than not, it’s not.

Sometimes, we just need to let go of something terribly limiting that’s holding us back from achieving things our full potential.

If that’s all we do and we don’t do anything new, we’ll grow.

Just like when you plant seeds in a garden but you forget to pull out the weeds. The weeds take all the sunlight [energy] away from the growing plants, leaving them stunted and deprived of their growth potential.

You keep watering the plants and sowing seeds…but come tomorrow, a year later, 2 years later…nothing changes. It’s taking SO much effort with little to no change or progress.

garden of dreams
You can apply this to anything – Deen, relationships, business.

In my understanding so far, I’ve noticed there are 3 different types of weeds in a person’s garden of dreams:

 

  1. Limiting Beliefs (Mindset)
  2. Limiting People
  3. Spiritually Limiting Practices (that remove barakah of Allah SWT)
types of weeds
Shaiytan attacks us from our mind, our heart, and the people around us.

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “I seek refuge in the Lord of humankind, the Master of humankind, the God of humankind, from the evil of the lurking whisperer— who whispers into the hearts of humankind—from among jinn and humankind.” (Sarah An-Nas)

The things holding us back from changing our habits and doing everything in our power to achieve our goals…

 

👉 Certain illogical and distorted ‘cultural’ beliefs we grew up with that make it hard for us to do the work that’s required to succeed.

 

E.g. “I don’t want to earn money from serving Muslims, I think we should serve the Ummah for free. Oh but I’m okay getting a paycheck from a 9-5 job as I’m not “directly” asking or taking money from somebody. The organization is paying me.”

E.g. “I don’t have the “talent” “leverage” “luck” [insert anything here] to achieve what that person has achieved.”

E.g. “I can’t stay consistent in anything so I’m not going to try and start anything that requires consistency. It’s just my personality. I’ll just wait until I’ve figured how to stay consistent or until I have more time.”

 

👉Certain people around us who drain us, don’t believe in us, and consciously/ unconsciously make it hard for us to do something better for ourselves.

 

E.g. “I can’t talk to people in my social circle about my goals. They don’t think I can do it. I’m starting to question whether I can.”

E.g. “My family takes up all of my time. Every time I sit down to work on my goals, I’m distracted by them and made to feel guilty about it.”

 

👉 Certain practices that are making us an easy target for Shaiytan and making it hard for us to increase our Emaan.

 

E.g. Watching filth on the internet.

Spending most of the learning hours listening to non-Muslims for advice on business and life.

Not making duas the default practice for problem-solving and achieving things, and instead relying mostly on analytical thinking.

Not praying early on time.

Overthinking about the future and worrying.

When I took a look at my garden of goals for this year, I spotted a lot of weeds that needed pulling out of my life – for good. Hopefully, by the end of this newsletter, you’ll spot a few weeds you need to pull out too 🙂

I’ll share with you 3 things that I’m letting go.

3 Things I’m Letting Go This Year

1. Tying my expectations of results to my self-imposed timelines.

 

Timelines mean results in a specific time frame.

I am responsible for my effort, Allah SWT is responsible for my results.

I can somewhat predict and set expectations of how much effort I can do in a certain timeline.

But since the outcomes are always up to Allah SWT, it’s unreasonable for me to expect the results of my efforts coming to fruition in my self-created timeline.

It’d be pretty egotistical to demand that one can conjure any results they want in any timeline they designed.

 

2. Telling myself the story, “I’m an introvert. I can’t do social media stuff, it drains me.”

 

Everything good in life comes from building relationships.

And you can’t succeed in business if you are not willing to put yourself in front of people. Online. Offline.

So much of our Deen is about relationships with other people.

“There is nothing weightier in the scales than good morals and manners.” (Abu Dawood).

Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The relationship of the believer with another believer is like (the bricks of) a building, each strengthens the other”. He ﷺ illustrated this by interlacing the fingers of both his hands. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

I’ve learned that there’s ways to work around social anxiety, setting boundaries, doing social media in a non-draining sustainable way, etc.

Labeling oneself as an “introvert” can give us a free pass to skip working on tough relationships (Hah! How convenient), or getting out of our comfort zone to make impact on others.And of course, it results in limiting growth in my personal life and business.

every problem gif

3. Listening to advice from all kinds of “financially successful” non-Muslim gurus.

 

I’m replacing that ☝️ wherever I can with Islamically aligned advice from spiritually conscious leaders and coaches.

Being even more selective of whose advice I’ll follow.

At this point, I’ve seen how the non-Muslim and some of the well-known Muslim gurus operate their business from my experience as their client, Alhamdulilah.

I’ve learned not all content (free or paid) out there that sounds good, is explained well, or feels doable is in alignment with our Deen. In fact, most of it is not. Does it work to get results? Sure.

But we have to repeatedly ask ourselves – is this in perfect integrity with our Faith?

If beliefs and values clash, it’s guaranteed that there will be a clash in the strategies and action steps.

Just like the fact that Muslims and non-Muslims drink water. But non-Muslims don’t mind drinking with their left hand. Something so small, yet when put in action, literally the opposite strategy is used to achieve the same outcome – getting water in our body.

If you hear yourself say, “Oh, I’m just following this really cool 8-fig entrepreneur because he’s so legit.”

“Oh look at the content this dude or dudette (:D) posts – it’s next level.”

When you think into the beliefs of these gurus (very easy to figure that out – pay attention to when they voice their beliefs)…they are completely distorted!

E.g. “Productivity is about feeling good.”

Let’s recap what Allah SWT has to say about this:

They only follow their whims, and who is more misguided that he who follows his whims without guidance from Allah.” (al-Qasas 28:50)

“And if the truth was according to their whims, truly the Heavens, the Earth and all that is in them would be corrupted.” (al-Muminun 23:71)

“So whoever follows guidance, the he will not be misguided or be unhappy.” (Taha 20:123)

👀

Bottomline – As spiritually conscious Muslims, we can’t be passive consumers of free/paid content. There’s no such thing as passive.

Junk goes in > junk shapes your beliefs unconsciously > junk comes out.

Over to you

 

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